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Posts tagged raw

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let me (not) cook for you

a few weeks ago one of my girlfriends emailed me:

her: “I need to look like a babe at Figawi (Memorial Day Weekend on Nantucket) and want to do a juice cleanse… and I need guidance.”

me: “Try to go into it knowing that it’s a mind-ef. You will look like a hot tamale and will have zero bloat and love pictures of yourself BUT it will come back and maybe more so be prepared for that. Also, for the sake of your belly, MAKE SURE you eat raw a few days before or else your body will revolt against you.”

her: “How in the ever loving hell do I eat raw?”

me: “…oh! by all means! allow me! I’ll christen my new (amazing) kitchen & host a 100% raw vegan dinner party!”



Starter: banana and almond butter collard green stuffed “sushi rolls”

Entree: zucchini pasta with garlic pesto avocado “cream sauce” + a side salad with fresh veggies & nuts

Dessert: chocolate banana “ice cream”

One of my favorite raw dishes is what I called collard green sushi. I took a collard green leaf, cut out the stem, spoon in about a tablespoon of raw almond butter, put either a banana or apple slices on top of the AB, roll up the leaf, and then cut into little sushi rolls like so:

after my guests were filled up on almond butter, fruit, and some greens, I broke out the main course.

This sauce was the best raw dish I have ever had in my entire life, no lie. I tripled the recipe for us and put: the juice from 1 lemon, 1.5 tablespoons of olive oil, & 5 cloves of garlic into a magic bullet (it was muy, muy garlicky) and let that run for a few seconds. Then I added 2 overripe avocados, 1/2 cup basil and 1 tsp sea salt, and voila! Avocado cream sauce:

Next I got to making the noodles for my sauce. I lightly peeled four zucchini and then used the same veggie peeler to make long strips down the length of the zucchini (is that that a phallic sentence or have I been reading too much Christian Grey?) and they came out looking exactly like pasta noodles only gf, raw, vegan, healthier, etc:

I put the noodles topped with the avocado sauce on a plate with spinach, romaine, cut up veggies and some walnuts topped with salt, pepper & apple cider vinegar:

babe alert: how gorgeous are my friends?

for the dessert, I broke three bananas into pieces and put them in the freezer overnight. Before serving, I put them in the magic bullet with two tablespoons of raw cacao powder, blended for a while (shaking the bullet many, many times):

and the grand finale: chocolate banana soft serve ice cream

how many times do i need to say it? when are you coming to the new place?

Editor’s notes:

  • I do not eat raw all the time (HAHAH) & I am not vegan
  • I would probably hurt a puppy and/or small child if I only ate fruit for breakfast
  • Give me chicken or give me death
  • This is just my attempt to be a healthier version of myself
  • ….sometimes

Honestly, if I can do it you can do it. So, so easy. The only work is cutting stuff up because you don’t cook anything because, duh, it’s raw.

Filed under joanna cooks pretty well actually raw vegan